Introduction
Narcissism goes beyond an endless stream of selfies or constantly checking one’s reflection. It has a more profound side. It’s about folks who honestly see themselves as the epicenter of everything, wielding an array of cunning tricks. Packing a punch with their deceiving methods to manipulate others, are you set to expose these crafty games? Dive with us into the manipulative maze narcissists craft to rattle you!
The Tricks Used
Gaslighting
So, ever had someone mess with your mind, making you think you’re going bonkers? Welcome to gaslighting, one of the narcissist’s favorite mind games. Here’s the lowdown:
Explanation: Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you doubt your own memories, feelings, or reality. It’s like they have this twisted remote control and are trying to change your personal life channel.
Examples and signs: Say you remember a certain event one way, and they insist it went down differently, adamant that you’re wrong. Or maybe they pretend they never said something when you’re 100% sure they did. Those are classic gaslighting moves.
Psychological impact on the victim: Over time, this messes with your head, making you question your sanity. It’s a tool to gain power over you, keeping you uncertain and off-balance.
This stuff is no joke. Recognizing gaslighting is the first step in not letting it mess with your groove.
Backhanded Compliments
Ever heard something like, “You’re so brave for wearing that!” and thought, “Wait, was that a compliment or a diss?” That, my friend, is the magic of the backhanded compliment, another trick up the narcissist’s sleeve.
Explanation: Backhanded compliments are those sneaky praises that, on the surface, sound nice, but there’s a little sting in the tail. It’s like getting a candy with a sour center.
Examples to help readers identify this behavior: “You’re smarter than you look,” or “That’s a good effort, considering.” Sounds familiar? Yeah, they’re pros at this.
The intent behind these compliments: It’s all about keeping you second-guessing. They throw you a bone, but with a side of shade. This way, they feel superior, while you’re left scratching your head.
Don’t let these pseudo-compliments mess with your self-worth!
Playing the Victim
Alright, onto the next sneaky tactic: the perpetual “woe is me” act. Some narcissists love to paint themselves as the eternal victim, no matter the scenario.
Explanation: This move is all about flipping the script. So, even when they’re clearly in the wrong, they’ll twist the narrative so it looks like they’re the ones being wronged. It’s like they’ve got their own personal drama series, and they’re always the lead.
Examples of how they twist stories: Imagine you confront them about something they did, and suddenly, it’s all about how “everyone’s always attacking them” or how they “can’t do anything right in your eyes.” Sound familiar?
The manipulation of others’ emotions to gain sympathy: By playing the victim, they’re fishing for sympathy and diverting attention from their actions. It’s like a magician’s trick, where they distract you with one hand while doing something sneaky with the other.
Remember: It’s not you; it’s their drama. Don’t get sucked into their sob stories; keep those critical thinking glasses on!
Triangulation
Into the next rabbit hole: triangulation. Sounds fancy, but it’s basically the narcissist’s way of playing puppet master with relationships.
Explanation: This is when they use a third person to stir the pot. They might play two friends against each other, making each feel like the other is saying or doing things behind their back. It’s like they’re a producer on a reality show, trying to create drama for ratings.
How narcissists pit people against each other: Maybe they’ll tell you that your mutual friend said something negative about you, or they’ll play the “messenger,” delivering supposed tidbits from others, all while acting innocent.
The objective: creating divisions and remaining in control. If everyone’s busy side-eyeing each other, the narcissist remains in the spotlight, right where they want to be, and avoids getting caught in their web of lies.
Pro tip: Double-check stories and always communicate directly. It’s the best way to call their bluff and avoid getting played.
Love Bombing
Next up on the narcissist’s hit parade: love bombing. It’s like a whirlwind romance from a movie, but spoiler alert – there’s a twist.
Explanation: Love bombing is when someone showers you with affection, compliments, and grand gestures super quickly. They make you feel like you’re the star of their universe, but there’s a catch. Once they feel they’ve got you hooked, the script flips.
Signs and stages of love bombing: Think non-stop texting, lavish gifts out of the blue, or constant praise. It starts off dreamy until suddenly, it’s more like a nightmare.
The shift from intense affection to devaluation: After the honeymoon phase, they might start criticizing, controlling, or even ghosting. It’s like they’ve built you a pedestal, only to knock it out from under you.
Stay grounded. Intense affection right out of the gate might feel great, but it’s worth taking a step back and asking if it’s too good to be true.
Silent Treatment
Rolling onto a classic: the silent treatment. Yep, it’s that frustrating thing where they act like you’re invisible just because they feel like it.
Explanation: Silent treatment is when someone deliberately ignores or avoids you to punish or manipulate. It’s their way of saying, “I’m upset, and now you have to guess why.”
The psychological toll on victims: Over time, it can feel like you’re walking on eggshells, always worried about setting them off and being shoved into the cold, silent corner again.
Ways narcissists employ the silent treatment to punish and control: Maybe you didn’t agree with them on something minor, and boom, radio silence. Or you didn’t give them enough attention, and suddenly, they’re colder than an Arctic breeze.
Keep your cool. Remember, communication is key in any relationship. If someone’s giving you the silent treatment, it might be a sign to reconsider the vibes they’re bringing into your life.
Projecting Their Insecurities
Moving on to a slightly twisted one: projecting. It’s like they’ve got this internal projector and, instead of showing cute home movies, they’re beaming their insecurities onto you.
Explanation: Projecting is when they dump their own flaws, fears, or insecurities onto you, blaming you for things they’re actually guilty of. It’s kinda like when someone farts in a room and tries to blame the dog. Except, y’know, emotionally.
Examples of common projections: Let’s say they’re feeling insecure about their work ethic. Next thing you know, they’re accusing you of being lazy. Or they might be sneaky behind your back but accuse you of being the untrustworthy one.
Understanding the narcissist’s internal struggle: Deep down, they’re battling their own demons. But instead of dealing with them, they deflect and make it about you. It’s like emotional dodgeball.
If someone’s constantly pointing fingers your way, sometimes it’s less about you and more about the baggage they’re carrying.
Withholding Affection or Resources
Alright, diving into the next shady tactic: withholding. Imagine someone holding a candy just out of your reach, teasingly. But instead of candy, it’s affection, money, or something else you value.
Explanation: This is when they dangle something you want or need, keeping it just out of grasp to control or manipulate. They know what buttons to push, and they’re not afraid to jam on them.
How this creates a dependency: By making you constantly chase after that affection or resource, they ensure you’re always dancing to their tune. Like, “Oh, you want my time? Prove you deserve it.”
Tactics such as financial control or emotional manipulation: Maybe they control the purse strings, making you beg for every penny. Or they could be hot and cold with their emotions, making you feel loved one moment and worthless the next.
Stay alert and trust your gut. If someone’s playing keep-away with things that matter to you, it might be time to ask if they’re playing fair in other ways, too.
Twisting the Truth
Sliding into another sneaky maneuver: truth twisting. It’s like they’ve got a Rubik’s Cube version of reality, and they’re the only ones who know how to solve it.
Explanation: They take events, conversations, or situations and twist them to fit their narrative. Reality? Psh, that’s just a suggestion to them.
Examples of how they bend facts: You might catch them in a lie, but they’ll spin a story so wild you’d think they were auditioning for a fiction writing gig. Like, “No, I wasn’t late because I forgot. There was this sudden alien invasion, remember?”
How it serves their purpose: By constantly reshaping the truth, they keep you off balance. If you’re always doubting your memories or what you know to be true, they stay in the driver’s seat.
Don’t let them mess with your reality compass. Sometimes, jotting things down or having a friend as a reality check can be super handy. The truth’s out there, and it’s not their personalized version!
The Ultimate Guilt Trip
Explanation: The guilt trip is their way of making you feel responsible, even when you shouldn’t. It’s all about shifting the blame and making sure the weight lands squarely on your shoulders.
Classic guilt trip scenarios: Maybe you wanted a weekend to yourself, and they drop the “I guess you don’t care about spending time with me” line. Or you confront them about something they did wrong, and suddenly you’re being guilt-tripped for “making them feel bad.”
Why it’s their go-to move: Guilt is a powerful emotion. By making you feel constantly indebted or apologetic, they keep the upper hand. Plus, while you’re busy feeling guilty, you’re less likely to challenge their behavior.
Stay strong and don’t let them lay that guilt trip on you. Your feelings are valid, and you don’t have to lug around the weight they’re trying to put on you. Remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize your own well-being.
Wrapping It Up
Alright, so we’ve taken a rollercoaster ride through Narcissist Land, and dang, it’s wild. Remember, these tricks and tactics aren’t just quirks— they’re designed to manipulate and control. But now that you’re armed with some knowledge, you’re one step ahead of the game. Stay true to yourself, trust your gut, and surround yourself with peeps who lift you up, not mess with your head. You’ve got this! And if ever in doubt, just revisit this guide. Keep those vibes positive and that head held high! 🚀🌟
3 comments
How do I deal with my now boyfriend sneaking around with my abusive ex of 11years. I’ve approached him we’ve talked and he says I’m a liar it’s not true, but it is I’ve caught him around and gotten pictures. My present boyfriend has gone as far as telling me I’m imagining my ex being around because I want him back. Or that I’m seeing Ghost or making up this stuff. What do I do I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind
I am in a relationship with a narcissist and he made so many empty promises. I’m disabled and this game has been going on 12yrs. He mentally abuses me daily and I just now this 2nd go around what he is taking my friends,using me,then tossing me aside to find his next victim. We were doing good now he has ruined my credit I can’t pay my bills , everything is in my name,I just filed for bankruptcy, I am minus in the bank and can’t afford anything, no food I don’t know how to get out of the nightmare
I love your writing style! It’s like having a conversation with a friend. Very useful info. Almost did it again and plunged head first into “relationship” ( which it’s not) with a Narc. Dang it! They can be so adorable and sexy in the very beginning. Have practiced enough to know Gray Rock method works. Bore them or go no contact – all the better. Good luck. There is so much more to life a than them! And so many wonderful things to experience. They can rob you of years but don’t let them.